How to tell if your boyfriend is a master manipulator

What girl doesn’t want to feel loved and appreciated by her boyfriend?

signs of a bad boyfriend
I came across an insightful article that I feel will help all you girls who are short-changing yourself and putting up with a boyfriend, who is not only unloving toward you, but a “Master Manipulator”.

Dr. Mary Casey, author of How to Deal With Master Manipulators, says that, “Manipulators aim to control their partners by pressing the buttons that get them emotional, whether it be making them feel afraid, unworthy, stupid, insecure, angry or frustrated”.

But because manipulators are typically passive-aggressive in their tactics, unlike domestic abuse, it can be difficult to tell when you’re in a manipulative relationship. “While abuse is obvious, victims of manipulation don’t even realize they are being manipulated because the manipulator masks their behavior as positive, caring and nurturing,” she says.

The author gives 7 signs that your boyfriend might be a manipulator

1. You’re always falling short of your partner’s expectations.
In an argument, the person being manipulated is often made to feel they are the ones at fault all of the time, says Casey. But what’s really going on is the manipulator is shifting the blame onto them and detracting in subtle, hard-to-detect ways. They’ll commonly say things like, “So we’re going to have the big interrogation are we?” or “Are you going to get all emotional again?”

2. You often feel guilty in your relationship and are always looking to repair the “damage.”
The manipulator is skilled at making people feel this way by saying things like “I spent all this money on this gift for you, and look how you thank me” or “You have trust issues — why don’t you trust me?”

3. You don’t often know where you stand with your partner.
A manipulative partner often uses concealed or open threats to keep his girlfriend anxious and holding onto the relationship, says Casey. He might use statements such as “I don’t even know why I’m here anymore; this isn’t working for me.”

4. You often feel like you’re walking on eggshells around him.
Maybe sometimes you’re given lots of love and affections; at other times you’re given the cold shoulder for no apparent reason, says Casey.

5. You feel confused in the relationship and keep questioning or blaming yourself for making your partner angry or frustrated.

Manipulators are skilled at never being to blame for any problem in a relationship.

6. You’re unhappy in your relationship at least 90 percent of the time.
This is a big red flag for anyone in a relationship — whether you’re with a manipulator or not, it’s time to reevaluate why you’re with that person.

7. You’re anxious about telling your partner your plans or about something you’ve bought.

If this is the case, you’re most likely being controlled and manipulated.

Girls, you cannot change him

If a few or more of these statements described your relationship, you’re likely with a manipulator, and the bad news is, he is unlikely to change.

“Manipulation is a learned behavior — no one is born with it. It’s very much a survival strategy learned from early childhood and therefore changing the behavior is near impossible,” says Casey. “Your time is better invested in developing strategies to protect yourselves, because you can never change a manipulator’s actions.

I feel this is fantastic advice. So if you see these signs in your relationship – DUMP HIM. (Share this with your girlfriends, too.) You deserve to find someone who will cherish you. If you need some good advice on how to attract a wonderful man into your life, take a look in Natalie’s Journal.

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Source: http://www.mydaily.com/2011/03/16/manipulative-relationship-signs-master-manipulator/

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